obedience

somewhere in milgram's report, he quotes someone as saying that "obedience has caused more misery and hardship than rebellion in history", referring to the insignificant nazi minions who carried hitler's crazed dreams to fruition (without these "insignificant minions", we would never have heard of hitler, really). i wondered if that meant someone as quarrelsome and disagreeable as myself would actually produce less misery and hardship than all those pap sycophants out there. of course, equating pap to the nazi is hardly fair la.

unfortunately, i turned out to be quite obedient too. that very night, i sat on a front row seat aboard the a1 shuttle back to pgp. along the way, i thought that i got the best seat, since it would be nearest to the pgp entrance when i get off, thus insignificantly saving me a few steps. strangely, the driver would refuse to open the front door when he finally stopped at pgp. "alight behind," i think he retorted. at that very moment i felt very indignant, and contemplated requesting that he open the front door in a less-than-threatening manner. but weirdly, like milgram's test subjects, the nazi minions, and the pap sycophants, i meekly headed for the rear door, with a slight frown and some cognitive dissonance.

perhaps walking a few more steps was simply too insignificant an inconvenience to risk a nonchalant argument with a bored bus driver? perhaps the glazed eyes of my fellow commuters extinguished some of the revolutionary fire burning in my heart at that moment? perhaps the exertions of trying to trick myself into revising the whole day had enervated me to the point of apathy? so many perhapses, but the most poignant one would be this: i probably lacked the resolute belief (what others may call zealous conviction) in that particular fight for that particular cause. and this hollow deficit of deliberate consonance probably rings true in almost every other area of my life: religion, education, love, etc. deliberate consonance... what a strange term to use in place of free choice.

and thus i conclude: for me obedience signifies a lack of consonance with fighting that authority. obedience indeed could allow much misery and hardship to proliferate.