just imaginary

~~~ i m a g i n e . . .

...if i had gotten a guitar when i was 5, would i have practiced still my fingers bled and set my eyes on turning into a guitar virtuoso? would i have quit school, spent half my time with the guitar everyday and neglected everything else? what if i was simply classically trained in, say piano or violin (like the rest of bourgeois singapore)? would i have skipped NS like a certain someone? would i be even more megalomaniacal than i already am right now?

...if my parents had divorced when i was in sec sch, would i be better off? would i be more matured? would i have had such a dramatically different experience in life that my entire personality would have been something else altogether? would my mum be happier? would my bro be happier? would my dad be happier? would i be happier? would it have mattered?

...if i never doubted anything, prefering to simply leave it in the hands of some higher authority, shrewdly sidestepping occasions which would draw me to ask unnecessary philosophical questions, would i still be serving in church? could i have become a slipshod atheist? or worse still - a clueless "believer"? will i end up closer to heaven or hell? will i make more friends or lose them all? would i be happier not attempting to understand what "happy" meant?

...if the entire universe were to say "fuck it" to the current laws of physics, would our souls be affected? if we found some way to warp dimensional rigidity, would it be universally catastrophic? what if physics discovers God in this peculiar fashion? what if the future of the entire known universe depended on that one scientist's decision to take that "leap" and go beyond understanding/obeying the rules? if that decision were up to me, would i have said "hell yeah" nonchalantly without thought?

...if every individual on the planet were to suddenly be awakened to the reality that social rules are not necessarily obligatory unless consequentially implied, would there be chaos or peace? what if each soldier realised that they weren't fighting for their "country" but some political/diplomatic blunder? what if we realised that most laws and the entire modern judiciary system only serve to protect the rich bullies who didn't need the protection in the first place? what if the popes, dalai lamas, and mullahs where to say that most religious doctrines only tell you to accept your fate in order to keep you docile and manageable? what if you found out that most cultural norms and taboos are no more than transient fads destined to be superseded in some manner by people who dare to do so? what if society isn't god and never was... but we've all been blind slaves to an imaginary one in our minds?

...if i were to cease existing tmr, would it matter in any metaphysical sense? how about socio-evolutionarily? parapsychologically? i know it'd matter to quite a few people in some plausible manner, but above and beyond that... would i get to see God if i ceased to exist? if i ceased to exist, then what? how about if my entire existence prior to that were to be wiped off in some mythical way? what if i don't cease to exist physically, but all instances of my existence are to be erased? what if i became an undetectable ghost? what would that be like?

and that's why i'm human - i can imagine. can you?