am i trying too hard?

there's a feeling inside of me
beckoning to be set free
an impulse of unkown origin
yearning to stretch me thin

where am i going with this? when i squeeze my neurons to shoot the next one-liner, who am i trying to impress? when i spend inordinate amounts of time trying to right my hairstyle, who am i showing it to? when i decided to turn my life topsy-turvy all in the name of mugging, whatever for?

and there are those times when i wish i hadn't said something lame... times i wished i didn't step forward... times i wished to banish those wily impulses and commend myself to inaction. even if it were my destiny/responsibility/calling to do whatever, be wherever, act whoever, i seem to have forgotten the real question: why even?

and now i realise... that not only have i been trying too hard; i've been trying too hard without qualifying.

...

or maybe it's just stress and all this is crap!!