hey... where did all the energy go?

i ought to be ashamed of myself for blogging instead of doing something more productive. after all, i need to churn out two essays tmr and i don't think i'm considered anywhere near prepared for it. i ought also to be able to think straight without sleeping, focus 100% without distraction while reading tough texts when i'm holding it in my hands, and keep myself fit, clean, presentable, charming, friendly, funny & perfect without trying. but i also don't wanna accomodate labels that i hardly believe in!!

so that's where all the energy went... it went into tearing my sorry ass out of this capitalist world... it went into bashing my world view out of positivist-materialism... it went into deciphering what an alternate reality would resemble and how far away are we from such a utopia...

i spent all my sanity attempting to totally subvert the socialisation imposed upon me - all the while still gorging material for the two essays.

i shouldn't even be able to blog, much less feel ashamed about it...