Tuesday, March 15, 2005

emotion

frustration (n): that uncontrollable urge to scream/shout/flail arms in utter despair. very irrational and often occuring in restricted timeframes. [from the dictionary of my own experience.]

just yelled at my mum. it was really idiotic. here's how it happened...

mum comes home and asks me nicely whether i still want dinner. i reply in a spaced out tone: 'anything lor.' she tells me noodles won't have any other sides cos i did not reply her sms. i told her 'anything lor.' she starts saying i should've replied her sms so she could get me more food. i told her my phone died... too bad... she goes on saying: 'how come a phone can die, new phone some more...' 'i dunno, i charged it but it still died.'
'one phone also cannot look after.'
this got my fuse burning.
'what the hell? i'm damn busy can?'
i was nearly shouting already. why must mum be so boliao?
'yah lah shout some more! so rude!'
wtf???
'my phone die cannot ah?! what's the big deal???'
i went mad. why can't this bloody family show some consideration for the poor overworked undergrad?? mum was slightly stunned. i tot that was the end of it. until...
'... phone die come and shout at me. so rude.'
*&^%$#@! WHAT'S WITH HER?!? wasn't she intending to cook me noodles???? how come end up talking abt the bloody phone?!?! (which already pissed me off the whole day for being magically low batt after an entire night of charging...)

once again, feelings of utter alienation permeate my worthless soul. how can a struggling intellectual survive his own unenlightened family?

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Well, did you consider NOT yelling at your mum to begin with? I find it very strange that people of my generation can yell at their parents because I was brought up to respect my elders EVEN when they made me mad.
Your mom probably has her own way of showing her concern, even if it does come out as nagging. Just bear with it, because in the heat of the moment, getting angry and expressing it in a loud voice isn't going to enlighten anyone.
If you are an intellectual, perhaps it's your duty to enlighten those who are unenlightened.

alveolate said...

thanks for the insight... but u see, things usually don't get that messy... it's usually just a series of grunts when we 'communicate.' perhaps people in um, your generation (it is preposterously uncomfortable for me to refer to anyone by generation; doesn't that already imply a million differences in terms of culture and whatnot??) somehow communicated better? i don't know... i keep trying to pin this down as a parental responsibility! maybe i'm still childish - even in claiming to be an intellectual. maybe it really is all simply an imbecilic endeavour in vanity. maybe the onus must lie squarely on the offspring to 'make the world a better place' - after all, they're the ones who're gonna be stuck in it when the progenitors are gone, right?

maybe my insipid, peter-pan-ish, 'blame the damned adults for the sins of the world' way of looking at this is overboard? sighs. i'm probably not really enlightened after all. =(