frustration (n): that uncontrollable urge to scream/shout/flail arms in utter despair. very irrational and often occuring in restricted timeframes. [from the dictionary of my own experience.]
just yelled at my mum. it was really idiotic. here's how it happened...
mum comes home and asks me nicely whether i still want dinner. i reply in a spaced out tone: 'anything lor.' she tells me noodles won't have any other sides cos i did not reply her sms. i told her 'anything lor.' she starts saying i should've replied her sms so she could get me more food. i told her my phone died... too bad... she goes on saying: 'how come a phone can die, new phone some more...' 'i dunno, i charged it but it still died.'
'one phone also cannot look after.'
this got my fuse burning.
'what the hell? i'm damn busy can?'
i was nearly shouting already. why must mum be so boliao?
'yah lah shout some more! so rude!'
wtf???
'my phone die cannot ah?! what's the big deal???'
i went mad. why can't this bloody family show some consideration for the poor overworked undergrad?? mum was slightly stunned. i tot that was the end of it. until...
'... phone die come and shout at me. so rude.'
*&^%$#@! WHAT'S WITH HER?!? wasn't she intending to cook me noodles???? how come end up talking abt the bloody phone?!?! (which already pissed me off the whole day for being magically low batt after an entire night of charging...)
once again, feelings of utter alienation permeate my worthless soul. how can a struggling intellectual survive his own unenlightened family?
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but after deconstruction, is there meaning left?
rosary
double inverted commas
"you who seek deconstruction,
should also find reconstruction;
or risk contracting solipsism."
"i think too much, therefore i am too much."
"between love & hate, i choose between."
"there's a feeling that i have no feeling."
"we're not too energetic; you're too cynical."
"our differences are so similar
that our similarities start differing."
"after being deceived often enough,
the truth begins to hurt."
"we believe in fate to justify our fate."
"life is played too seriously;
love, seriously underplayed."
"our very existence is blasphemous."
"behold - the wisdom of relaxation."
"war: we have all been raped."
"where's the truth in faith?"
"when you're numb, all you'd feel is existence."
"respect the circle of judgement - you're next."
"nobody can logically be non-judgemental."
"tolerance gets you by until acceptance takes over."
"control, alternate, delegate."
"being beautiful only attracts ugly attention."
"do you verstehen?"
"predictably, humans are unpredictable."
"the only certainty in history is uncertainty;
the only uncertainty in history is certainty."
"human nature does not naturally exist in humans."
"socialisation is power."
"tolerate a half-truth today and you'll
be faced with a whole-lie tomorrow."
"behind each smile is a reason to look so happy."
"what drives us deprives us."
"what if society is god, and god is a puppet?"
"is it moral for one to moralise?"
"intellectual property is an oxymoron:
true knowledge is free."
"intellectual superiority is an oxymoron:
the truly wise know their inferiorities."
"if you say i'm creating meaning
aren't you doing the same for me?"
"war is the bastard child of patriotism."
"doubt requires belief in the contrary;
atheism is faith in godlessness."
"you are free to choose, whether you like it or not."
"teenage: when everything revolves around you.
maturity is the only cure."
"while playing that new RPG, you'll miss out
on the RPG of your life."
"hope makes joy possible.
faith makes love infinite."
"the depths of human existence are unfathomable."
"no label ever quite describes everything
- except maybe this one."
"when you see the end, the present becomes closer."
"instrumental rationality has no real instrumentality."
"i am an impact on the great big reality of everything."
"aren't most things the effect of some cause?"
"what's on the edge?
sharpness - the last subatomic particle."
"maybe i am, just so that you too, can be."
"my instincts are no longer able to save me
from today's predators."
"i'm different everyday; what difference does it make?"
"let me expressly express this expressively:
i'm not impressed by impressive impressions."
"i can be good if i know what being good can be."
"we are culturally, socially, intellectually unique;
yet existential duplicates."
"the wise need few words."
"you are free when you spend your time wisely."
"you who can treasure are already wealthy;
you who are wealthy should practice treasuring."
"i'd rather assume i'm wrong than claim to be right."
"success sucks the life out of us.
make sure your success is worth your life."
"philosophy without application is dead.
life without philosophy is dead physics."
"but truly, what is friendship
which blossoms not?"
"love is worth coming home to."
"there is a sweetness in the air we breathe;
but who cares?"
"can i do naught but give myself to eternity?"
should also find reconstruction;
or risk contracting solipsism."
"i think too much, therefore i am too much."
"between love & hate, i choose between."
"there's a feeling that i have no feeling."
"we're not too energetic; you're too cynical."
"our differences are so similar
that our similarities start differing."
"after being deceived often enough,
the truth begins to hurt."
"we believe in fate to justify our fate."
"life is played too seriously;
love, seriously underplayed."
"our very existence is blasphemous."
"behold - the wisdom of relaxation."
"war: we have all been raped."
"where's the truth in faith?"
"when you're numb, all you'd feel is existence."
"respect the circle of judgement - you're next."
"nobody can logically be non-judgemental."
"tolerance gets you by until acceptance takes over."
"control, alternate, delegate."
"being beautiful only attracts ugly attention."
"do you verstehen?"
"predictably, humans are unpredictable."
"the only certainty in history is uncertainty;
the only uncertainty in history is certainty."
"human nature does not naturally exist in humans."
"socialisation is power."
"tolerate a half-truth today and you'll
be faced with a whole-lie tomorrow."
"behind each smile is a reason to look so happy."
"what drives us deprives us."
"what if society is god, and god is a puppet?"
"is it moral for one to moralise?"
"intellectual property is an oxymoron:
true knowledge is free."
"intellectual superiority is an oxymoron:
the truly wise know their inferiorities."
"if you say i'm creating meaning
aren't you doing the same for me?"
"war is the bastard child of patriotism."
"doubt requires belief in the contrary;
atheism is faith in godlessness."
"you are free to choose, whether you like it or not."
"teenage: when everything revolves around you.
maturity is the only cure."
"while playing that new RPG, you'll miss out
on the RPG of your life."
"hope makes joy possible.
faith makes love infinite."
"the depths of human existence are unfathomable."
"no label ever quite describes everything
- except maybe this one."
"when you see the end, the present becomes closer."
"instrumental rationality has no real instrumentality."
"i am an impact on the great big reality of everything."
"aren't most things the effect of some cause?"
"what's on the edge?
sharpness - the last subatomic particle."
"maybe i am, just so that you too, can be."
"my instincts are no longer able to save me
from today's predators."
"i'm different everyday; what difference does it make?"
"let me expressly express this expressively:
i'm not impressed by impressive impressions."
"i can be good if i know what being good can be."
"we are culturally, socially, intellectually unique;
yet existential duplicates."
"the wise need few words."
"you are free when you spend your time wisely."
"you who can treasure are already wealthy;
you who are wealthy should practice treasuring."
"i'd rather assume i'm wrong than claim to be right."
"success sucks the life out of us.
make sure your success is worth your life."
"philosophy without application is dead.
life without philosophy is dead physics."
"but truly, what is friendship
which blossoms not?"
"love is worth coming home to."
"there is a sweetness in the air we breathe;
but who cares?"
"can i do naught but give myself to eternity?"
"righteousness, when actually lived out,
exudes a mythical air - and that's the Truth."
2 comments:
Well, did you consider NOT yelling at your mum to begin with? I find it very strange that people of my generation can yell at their parents because I was brought up to respect my elders EVEN when they made me mad.
Your mom probably has her own way of showing her concern, even if it does come out as nagging. Just bear with it, because in the heat of the moment, getting angry and expressing it in a loud voice isn't going to enlighten anyone.
If you are an intellectual, perhaps it's your duty to enlighten those who are unenlightened.
thanks for the insight... but u see, things usually don't get that messy... it's usually just a series of grunts when we 'communicate.' perhaps people in um, your generation (it is preposterously uncomfortable for me to refer to anyone by generation; doesn't that already imply a million differences in terms of culture and whatnot??) somehow communicated better? i don't know... i keep trying to pin this down as a parental responsibility! maybe i'm still childish - even in claiming to be an intellectual. maybe it really is all simply an imbecilic endeavour in vanity. maybe the onus must lie squarely on the offspring to 'make the world a better place' - after all, they're the ones who're gonna be stuck in it when the progenitors are gone, right?
maybe my insipid, peter-pan-ish, 'blame the damned adults for the sins of the world' way of looking at this is overboard? sighs. i'm probably not really enlightened after all. =(
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