when u march forward in some area of your life, something somewhere will begin to swell, and once it swells, your view gets obscured. for every step one gamely marches forward in pride-induced blindness, one must tumble two steps backwards in the most humiliating fashion.
the rush of adrenaline from CAW is proving to be double-edged. am i zealously marching for God's glory or am i seeking my own pedestal? must what i consider good ideas in my head necessarily be broadcast? must what i detect to be oversights demand an audience with the overseers? when i exercise my gift of judgement, am i also committing the sin of judgementalism?
four words. patience, humility, appreciation, gentleness. let me indulge in this self-reminder for a moment: the thinnest of lines can be swayed towards the white simply by adhering to these four words, no? even in a fast-paced environment, how can being Christ-like not lead to doing the right thing?
and thus i look to slow my pace. patience requires objectivity in managing time.
and thus i look to quieten myself. humility requires solace in solitude.
and thus i look to decrease critique. appreciation requires pure positivity.
and thus i look to be understanding. gentleness requires sensitive chivalry.
obedience and tenacity, where art thou? if only my person could possess you two strangers by serendipidity, who could resist calling me blessed! o furtive Spirit, pray thee fly no more... but land upon my soul and clench Thy fiery talons deep into my heart - bleed me dry if need be! grant me the supernatural will to tenaciously obey my King - and so let my person be consumed with pure love of Thee.
my partner's right. the same excuse cannot apply more than once, since it then requires an excuse for using that excuse again - a recursive nightmare! it's time to straighten up once again. the new goal: all growth and no more retardation.
extra: firm apologies for all the nonsense spouted thus far. please feel free to calumniate me for them: i have prayed for the grace to desire that retribution.
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