who am i to judge

g: dear god...
G: yes, dear?
g: whoa, that was fast!
G: *rolls eyes* so, what's up?
g: ah well, nothing much really. just something bugging me.
G: uhhhh-huh.
g: i uh, kinda pissed a friend off.
G: *chuckles* you knew you had it coming, didn't you?
g: right, right. with free will everything's my fault...
G: "...even though You planned everything in advance." dude, you don't have to trail off, i know what you're thinking.
g: really? then you know i'm stumped.
G: yes, of course you are.
g: i mean, i don't understand how it happened at all.
G: mm hmm.
g: okay so i was going on with my self-righteous bullshit and shooting my mouth off like a deranged kid in a high school shootout.
G: *pause* that seemed unnecessary too.
g: hey, i get emotional too. you're the god, you deal with it.
G: easy boy. i could still zap you.
g: whatever. i still don't get it. what exactly did i do wrong? when did i piss her off?
G: you weren't wrong. even if you ever were, you won't admit to it. you've already made up your mind about yourself.
g: yea... glad you agree with me.
G: actually. no, not really.
g: *pause* oh. it was sarcasm.
G: more like i'm echoing your thoughts.
g: fine. so i was stubborn. she was too.
G: she was more of exasperated, i'd say.
g: and what, i'm not? do i look like i'm enjoying this?
G: now, now. it's not always about you.
g: ah.
G: remember your commitment to PHAG?
g: fag? i thought i gave up smoking.
G: *pause* very funny.
g: oh. oh you meant Patience, Humility, Appreciation, Gentleness.
G: there, you got it.
g: let's see. i think i failed in all four huh.
G: no need to be that harsh, dear. you keep trying.
g: i did not wait. i did not check my pride. i did not see her point of view. i did not care.
G: that's somewhat of a more accurate appraisal...
g: man, i feel really lousy now.
G: ...except for the unnecessarily large amount of guilt involved.
g: okay, so what do i do now?
G: you know.
g: apologise?
G: arboh? what else?
g: buy her sweets?
G: you know, that humour of yours can make crocodiles cry.
g: ouch.
G: you talked about being judgmental in your little soliloquy with her.
g: yep. i am still very much convinced that the reason adults expect people to be well-dressed and formal is simply to extend their pretentious work-lives to church. it still sickens me that i have to dress up when lectoring just to avoid their judgmental remarks.
G: who are you to judge?
g: i... what? did i judge?
G: you clearly did.
g: i uh, was only "very much convinced"...
G: so what?
g: am i not entitled to personal opinions?
G: that privilege came with free will.
g: so what, i shouldn't have told her all that?
G: you could. but you didn't do something.
g: like... talk to those 'adults'?
G: that's one.
g: there's more?
G: think PHAG.
g: right... i could've waited for the adults to explain themselves. i could've respected their opinions. i could've seen the value of their points. i could've loved them more.
G: you don't sound very convinced.
g: because i know they won't bother to explain! because respect is not for me to give, but for them to earn! because their points would only be overturned by my arguments-
G: because you can't bring yourself to love them?
g: because... oh my goodness...
G: who are you to judge?
g: *long pause* indeed...
G: now that you are less muddled, you could go repent.
g: yes, Lord.
G: good boy.
g: okay, one last question.
G: shoot.
g: am i supposed to simply not judge, then?
G: kind of.
g: and have no opinion at all?
G: nah, that goes against the rules of free will.
g: then what?
G: patience, my friend. leave the judging to me, and in time you will have worthy opinions to share.
g: i see...
G: go read Proverbs and Wisdom.
g: that sounds like penance.
G: haha... that one, i like.
g: thank you, Lord.
G: welcome.