Friday, May 12, 2006

automatic typing

a mind is a terrible thing to waste... and mine is one of the most terrible. this week was supposed to be packed with activity... straight out of the exam panic and into the css/foc delirium. yet strangely, i found myself settled aimlessly at home... a bored and dazed phantasm fiddling with this bizarre yet oddly cognizant surrounding. has it been too long away from my own room, that i actually need an entire week of stupor to reacquaint myself?

nonetheless, work is piling. after skipping one mm practice and a games comm mtg, i find myself slipping back into discordant anonymity with my responsibilities. granted the dizziness is overbearing, but the consonant effort is sorely lacking. why? don't i wish to help out? isn't that my sole purpose in life? to be at the service of others?

and yet this listless illation about purpose only serves to beguile. why ought i serve? when i mutter "purpose" like a prairie dog, do i really care about it? have i got a clear grasp of that exceedingly abstract and sublime concept? what is my purpose? and why must i have a purpose?

it may seem like effusive dawdling, and indeed it might prove to be so. for even if i have yet to completely demystify the grand paradoxes in my psyche, i could still get on with what i have to do. and so here i go again attempting to nudge myself into action. so much inertia in here, so many tasks awaiting accomplishment...

this is definitely not the time to ask more questions eh? sighs.

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