who is me?
that egotistical travesty
overconsuming amnesty
that construct between
you and me
who is me?
do the birds fly free
or is air controlling thee?
the point of view between
you and me
who is me?
a malfunctioning dichotomy
blithe evil wannabe holy
it's never simply between
you and me
who is me?
woe is me.
Tuesday, July 26, 2005
Monday, July 25, 2005
Saturday, July 09, 2005
desperate cockroaches
amazing as it is, even i have succumbed to watching that dreaded show abt desperate american women living broken lives even with all their wealth. but the key point was running into a cockroach on the way to the toilet during a break. the cockroach seemed startled, and was trying to squeeze itself thru one of the small holes in the kitchen drain cover. i duly smacked it and got its carcass flushed down the toilet, but not without wondering why God created these tough little guys. just so you know, they've survived on this planet for 300 million years, approximately 100x more ancient than the first human. but aren't they just pests now? in terms of ecological significance, cockroaches aren't important - ants do a much better job clearing up leftovers, and few animals consider cockroaches a major part of their diet. God, why'd you make these gross creatures then? i ruminated on these silly thoughts as i returned to desperate housewives.
it then dawned upon me. these vectors of various diseases, these motifs of ill hygiene in the modern urban setting - they merely serve to remind us how beneath all the pretty pretenses we put up, the filthiness and dirty secrets we ignore are only multiplying.
aren't we little more than desperate cockroaches?
it then dawned upon me. these vectors of various diseases, these motifs of ill hygiene in the modern urban setting - they merely serve to remind us how beneath all the pretty pretenses we put up, the filthiness and dirty secrets we ignore are only multiplying.
aren't we little more than desperate cockroaches?
Sunday, July 03, 2005
badminton idol
well, here's the man who did it. taufik hidayat... the year of the "taufiks" indeed. the singapore open really killed my eyes tho - too much to see! from impossible athletism to admirable sportsmanship, and also a plethora of good-lookers. which is why i need to rest my overworked eyes now... we'll see you again next year.
p.s.: i was working as line-judge/mopper. in case you guys really think i was simply watching the competition leisurely.
Wednesday, June 29, 2005
Tuesday, June 28, 2005
the chronicle of sin
just a strange idea about life, sin, and heaven.
imagine you are a Sim - as in the blockbuster simulation game The Sims - and you make decisions about your life in a huge simulated world. everything you do is then recorded in all observable dimensions so that the human player - who is like playing god, almost - gets to see in every detail.
imagine your life is currently being recorded as well. imagine that none of it escapes - not what you peeped at, what you secretly thought of, what you pretended to be, everything - and God Himself is watching you right now. yes, right now. and he can playback any portion of your life if He wants to. in fact, since any soul who is in heaven is in direct Communion with Him, they actually all get to see what you're doing. so the last time you shouted 'jesus christ!' or 'mother of god!' they actually heard it - and possibly responded as well. indeed, if you had cried for any loved one who has risen to heaven, they saw the heart-wrenching moments and shared your sorrow personally.
well. if God has such a perfect surveillance system with such an attentive response team, how come we don't hear of it? it's actually pretty simple. because we eventually will, anyway. this is probably one of the rules of life - which is really one big test. of course, i wouldn't dare say that the scenario i described above is 100% truth (i haven't met God face to face for corroboration yet, but whoa, i can't wait!) that is where discernment comes in.
just imagine that moment when your life on earth finally ends and that video clip of your life is played back in full to you before God meets you. how would you feel thru-out that sitting? would you be cringeing in shame most of the time? would you be proud of yourself? or would you actually be able to see that God was already there most of the time, even before you met Him face to face?
in this little paradigm, i feel life is little more than a chronicle of how we spend the time given us away from direct contact with God. whether it turns out to be a chronicle of sin is a choice that He has given us.
perhaps this idea isn't so strange after all?
imagine you are a Sim - as in the blockbuster simulation game The Sims - and you make decisions about your life in a huge simulated world. everything you do is then recorded in all observable dimensions so that the human player - who is like playing god, almost - gets to see in every detail.
imagine your life is currently being recorded as well. imagine that none of it escapes - not what you peeped at, what you secretly thought of, what you pretended to be, everything - and God Himself is watching you right now. yes, right now. and he can playback any portion of your life if He wants to. in fact, since any soul who is in heaven is in direct Communion with Him, they actually all get to see what you're doing. so the last time you shouted 'jesus christ!' or 'mother of god!' they actually heard it - and possibly responded as well. indeed, if you had cried for any loved one who has risen to heaven, they saw the heart-wrenching moments and shared your sorrow personally.
well. if God has such a perfect surveillance system with such an attentive response team, how come we don't hear of it? it's actually pretty simple. because we eventually will, anyway. this is probably one of the rules of life - which is really one big test. of course, i wouldn't dare say that the scenario i described above is 100% truth (i haven't met God face to face for corroboration yet, but whoa, i can't wait!) that is where discernment comes in.
just imagine that moment when your life on earth finally ends and that video clip of your life is played back in full to you before God meets you. how would you feel thru-out that sitting? would you be cringeing in shame most of the time? would you be proud of yourself? or would you actually be able to see that God was already there most of the time, even before you met Him face to face?
in this little paradigm, i feel life is little more than a chronicle of how we spend the time given us away from direct contact with God. whether it turns out to be a chronicle of sin is a choice that He has given us.
perhaps this idea isn't so strange after all?
Friday, June 24, 2005
scenario A
scenario A: the burning banquet
it is your wedding dinner. you decided it was more impt to invite all the people you know than to only invite a select few, thus the dinner is to be held in an old warehouse (with appropriate decor of course). everyone was having a good time - it seems having 50 tables of family and friends wasn't gonna be a headache after all! indeed, things were going so smoothly, you quickly realised you were almost drunk. no worries! a breath of fresh air would do. thus, you slipped out for a really short moment.
unfortunately, things took a turn.
the old warehouse no longer had any fire safety measures, and a fire broke out just as you exited. the flammable building effortlessly stoked the flames, and within seconds, the entire building was fiercely ablaze.
would you rush in to save any of your loved ones?
if you only had enough time to save one of them, who would it be? why?
remember: you managed to invite everyone you know and they all turned up - therefore the person you save may very well be your sole relation after the disaster.
it is your wedding dinner. you decided it was more impt to invite all the people you know than to only invite a select few, thus the dinner is to be held in an old warehouse (with appropriate decor of course). everyone was having a good time - it seems having 50 tables of family and friends wasn't gonna be a headache after all! indeed, things were going so smoothly, you quickly realised you were almost drunk. no worries! a breath of fresh air would do. thus, you slipped out for a really short moment.
unfortunately, things took a turn.
the old warehouse no longer had any fire safety measures, and a fire broke out just as you exited. the flammable building effortlessly stoked the flames, and within seconds, the entire building was fiercely ablaze.
would you rush in to save any of your loved ones?
if you only had enough time to save one of them, who would it be? why?
remember: you managed to invite everyone you know and they all turned up - therefore the person you save may very well be your sole relation after the disaster.
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